Walking through

Battles. Challenges. Hardships. Trials.

We all have them.

Some of them linger and go on for years.

Perhaps it's a marriage, perhaps it's a home yet unfinished, a lack of patience, a temper you keep trying to master but somehow it gets away from you, lack of finances, a child that's ill, the loss of a job, friendships that have ended, family feuds. Perhaps it's wanting to be content but just not getting there, or maybe because it's just never enough. Maybe it's the mundanness of everyday things.

Life as it is right now.

Trials.

They're difficult to endure.

I don't like them.

And I've generally tried to pray them away.

Tried not to think about it too much. Not talk about it too much. Not look at it so much.

Or just hold my breath...until it's over. If it's ever over.

I've struggled through.

 

The Scripture, James 1:2-4, is one I find a comfort and strength in times of trial, but I've struggled with the part which says "Consider it all joy".

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Desert experiences aren't made to be pleasant. They're filled with challenge, discomfort, pain. But there's something about being in the desert that the Lord finds of use. For His glory and purpose.

1 Peter 1:6-7
"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Trials. A time of refining.

Until I see Me reflected in you

Until I see Me reflected in you

Until I see Me reflected in you

The truth is there's always going to be a trial.

And sometimes it feels like you've come out of one and go straight back into another one.

So instead of praying it away, I want to start praying that God will make me strong. I want to pray that He will equip me for the day that will be difficult; the day that will bring me to my knees. I want to learn to lean into the refining fire because I want to be changed.

I want to be all He sees in me to be.

Knowing He loves me. Knowing He has a purpose. Knowing He has a plan.

And then I'll be able to count it all joy.

Loving when it's messy

I have this dream that started stirring up in my heart about two years ago.  With time, the desire to make it a reality has increased. And though there are practical obstacles in the way at the moment, the biggest one has been my heart. I've been challenged.

So here's the dream: to have an extra bedroom in my home for people in transition. Maybe someone who's had some bad luck and has nowhere to stay while they're in-between jobs or the like.  A place where they could come and be part of a family - not a perfect family, but a family nonetheless - where they could have room to breathe, be loved, be strengthened. A place where they can get back up on their feet and go out and fight the world again.

But here's the thing about dreams: they're generally rose-tinted.  

Reality on the other hand tends to be messy. And messy is uncomfortable. 

I recently read a book called Kisses from Katie. I highly recommend everyone reads it because it is a testament to the faithfulness of God to do wondrous things with what we have and are willing to give Him. Today. Right where we're at. Regardless of financial position, the home you live in, the car you drive; all those things we think are important. Reading Katie's story confirmed my dream for me. 

I don't want my faith to be about going through the ritual of going to church on Sunday, meeting on Wednesdays for Bible study, and then doing it all again next week. Those things are so important in the life of a Christian. But there's more to this walk with Christ.

My life has to be more about Him and less about me.  It has to be more about who He is and so much less about what I want.

I want to do what Jesus says.

We're living in a world filled with broken and damaged people. I am one of them. But I have been redeemed by grace! And though I'm not whole yet, He has done wonderful things in me. I'm so grateful Jesus interrupted my life because He cares about me. Because He thought I was worth it, my messy and uncomfortable is now a testimony of His goodness and faithfulness. 

That's part of why He came isn't it? For the broken and damaged? And surely He's called us so that we could be more than just comfortable? So we can show His heart?

I want to get uncomfortable. And you?

PS: The Scripture card I've created can be clicked on and saved as an image which you can then print and put up wherever you'll be encouraged to read it and, most importantly, memorise it. I've tried to make it pretty because I'm a real girl that way. I hope you'll find it a helpful resource.

I want to thank you for taking the time to comment. Each time you do, I recognise you're leaving a piece of yourself here and it blesses my heart so. Thank you so much.